Breathwork - Am I doing it right?

This is a question that comes up frequently in breathwork sessions.

There are many factors at play when someone comes for breathwork for the first time or the question may emerge after several sessions.

Firstly, there are a host of physical factors, many of which might not be in our conscious awareness. It’s hard to get going to a more dynamic breath if we’re physically and mentally exhausted. Sometimes we really need the session to relax deeply by feeling our breath as gentle nourishment only. If we have lots running in our lives sometimes it can just be too much to take the lid off and process what we are feeling.

We also need to feel comfortable and safe and this is different for everyone - some like the anonymity of a group and others prefer more private space. It can also take time to feel comfortable in meeting more challenging parts of our experience and this is absolutely fine. We are ready when we are ready and we have an intuitive sense of what we need. Most important is that we are all wired differently and have our unique life experience that needs to be honoured and not pushed forcefully. This is heartful work for and on ourselves and we are all in different places. Often it can take a few sessions to really get comfortable with the process even at a subtle level so if you’ve had one session and “nothing happened” I’d invite you to give it another go and see how it is when you feel different physically, mentally or emotionally. That said some of us are wired for dive right in and that is just fine too.

The “Am I doing it right?” question can arise as part of a resistance to embracing an emerging experience, maybe of something that feels challenging or uncomfortable - though it can equally be of something that is empowering, beautiful or insightful (and how connected they frequently are too). Breathwork isn’t only about letting go. There is an inflowing to our breath too.

The question can also emerge in comparison to another’s experience. Maybe a friend recommended breathwork and had a particular experience that isn’t present or very strong.

The question is often a reflection of a deeper inner narrative that has roots in early life and experience. We all have it to varying degrees and it’s a hard wired part of our need for acceptance and social conformity. However, this can come at a cost and, if you’ve engaged in any of Gabor Mate’s important work, you may recognise it as something that may reflect a separation from the expression of our most authentic self. So in breathwork, we have an open invitation to be fully and wholly authentic in the session and to feel what we are feeling and to move beyond a narrative that asks “am I doing it right?” and to just feel into what is right for ourselves in each moment. And yes, we can always move deeper into our breath when we are ready - it’s an open invitation.

The art to breathwork is to be kind to ourselves, our dialogues, our experiences and to trust in our breath and its potential. We all have our own way. Our breath shows us where we are, what we need and there is no right or wrong…